Pyebaek — the family ceremony

Pyebaek is held at a low table in a private room or a designated reception space. The table is covered in traditional cloth and set with symbolic foods:

• Jujubes (Korean dates) — represent sons.
• Chestnuts — represent daughters.
• Fruits — persimmons and pears.
• Traditional cookies — hangwa.
• Rice cakes — tteok.
• Wine cups — for a specific portion of the ceremony.

Family members sit on floor cushions on the far side of the table. The couple sits, or stands and bows, on the near side. Christian, Buddhist, and secular Korean families, and families of South Korean or North Korean origin, vary how formal the table is. Ask.

The couple performs deep formal bows called keunjeol. The bride lowers to her knees and bends forward, forehead near the floor, hands folded in front of her. The groom uses a similar posture with a slightly different hand placement, arms extended forward on the floor. These are slow bows, not a quick nod.

The couple bows to each family unit in turn:

1. Groom's parents, traditionally first. Modern practice sometimes reverses this.
2. Groom's grandparents, if present.
3. Groom's uncles and aunts.
4. Bride's parents.
5. Bride's grandparents.
6. Bride's uncles and aunts.

Some families alternate or combine the order. Confirm it before the bows start.

After each bow, the elders speak blessings: a long, happy marriage, prosperity and health, and specific personal wishes. Elders often give money in envelopes. Some families also give traditional gifts or heirlooms.

At a specific moment, traditionally after the bow to the groom's parents, the parents toss jujubes and chestnuts into the bride's outstretched skirt. She holds the front of her hanbok open as a basket. The groom often helps her collect what falls.

Traditionally, jujubes caught stand for sons, chestnuts for daughters, and the total for children. Modern couples take the count playfully. The moment is still worth photographing.

At the pyebaek table the couple typically shares traditional rice wine, or sometimes sikhye, a sweet rice drink. Parents or elders pass the cup. Both partners drink. See the wine cup exchange for the 15-minute ritual.

Setup

• Position so you can see the couple, the family, and the pyebaek table.
• Two shooters — one for the couple, one for the family.
• A long lens (85–135mm) for faces, and a wide lens for the whole scene.

Key shots per bow

• The couple approaching or kneeling.
• The bow itself, at full depth.
• The elder receiving the bow and speaking the blessing.
• The money envelope or gift, and the couple accepting it.

Dates, chestnuts, and wine

• The bride holding her skirt open.
• The parents throwing, and the dates and chestnuts in the air. Use a fast shutter.
• The couple catching and collecting, often laughing.
• The cup being passed, and both partners drinking.
• The whole family at the table, plus a detail of the foods and cloth.